Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
