I'm lost and stupid without you.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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