Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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