Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
