how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize