Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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