dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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