you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
