I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize