Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
