I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
