please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
