I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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