dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
