You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
