Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So much Jack, so little girl.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize