Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
