Don't you send me to vm
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
