You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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