my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
