Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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