I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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