whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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