You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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