watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
There are leaves in my underwear?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
