We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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