Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
