My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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