I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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