he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
No subtext here. People are naked.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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