i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
