Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
