Are we in a gay sports bar?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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