you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
