i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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