Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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