I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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