peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
