i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize