i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize