And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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