are you still at the devil's house?
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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