I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Randomize
