So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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