He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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