well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
