I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
