Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
