What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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