just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
