Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
