it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
