so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
