Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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