apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
