So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Come share oat with me in your robe
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
