Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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