Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
