Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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